


give you my heart to break

by cosmiccuriosities



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Established Relationship, Fluff, Lee Jeno is Whipped, M/M, One Shot, Rated teen for swearing, Valentine's Day, clearly I have no valentine so i think about nct, renjun is an angel, that tag probably should've come first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29424390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmiccuriosities/pseuds/cosmiccuriosities
Summary: Jeno loves Renjun. And he would show it, if he wasn’t so,sobad at gifts. Unfortunately for him, their first year anniversary happens to fall on valentine’s day. Jeno considers himself screwed.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 8
Kudos: 91





	give you my heart to break

**Author's Note:**

> happy valentine's day, and happy jaehyun day everyone! <3
> 
> i randomly had this fic idea at like 12am last night that i thought would be really cute as a valentine's fic... so here it is!  
> it's a little rushed bc i really wanted to get this out on valentine's itself, but i hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless.
> 
> title and ending are from the song Heart to Break by Kim Petras!

“And why are we all here?” Jisung asks, half-awake, scowl very apparent on his face. In any other situation, Jeno would go on about  _ respecting your elders _ , but he’s a little desperate today, so he’ll let it slide just this once. 

Frankly, Jeno doesn’t blame Jisung. It’s 9 am in the morning, which is arguably way too early for a bunch of college kids to be up on a weekend, and they’re in the college cafeteria, which (also arguably) has the worst coffee Jeno has ever tasted in his life. Jeno doesn’t even want to call it coffee- he and the boys affectionately nicknamed it bean water. 

And so the desperation is pretty clear when Jeno is not only here at 9 am in the morning, but also gulping down his bean water in an attempt to knock his groggy brain awake. 

“It’s an emergency!” Jeno exclaims, setting his empty cup down.

“Pining over Renjun is  _ not _ an emergency,” Chenle deadpans, lifting his head from the table to glower at Jeno. His forehead is slightly red from the nap he had been taking.

“Pining over Renjun is definitely an emergency.”

“Not a 9 am shitty coffee emergency,” Jaemin retorts, grimacing as he sips his bean water. All 5 boys nod in agreement. Jeno briefly thinks he needs new friends.

“Renjun’s got a 2-hour class, which means it won’t be suspicious if I have this very important meeting with you all without him!” 

“What kind of dumbass takes a 2-hour class on a Saturday morning?” Donghyuck chimes in, not even bothering with the bean water, instead sipping on some cheap tea from his own dorm room. The only one who came prepared, it seems, based on this and the fact that he’s the only one not actively wearing pajamas.

“Guys, let’s just listen to what Jeno has to say,” Mark supplies, trying to hide the tiredness laced in his voice, “we’re all here already anyway.”

Jeno sits up straight. “Our first year anniversary is on Valentine’s day. I don’t have a gift yet. Because I pick shitty gifts.” Donghyuck snickers, and Jeno slumps back down into his chair, huffing. “And for the record, Mark is now my only friend.”

Jaemin rolls his eyes, bean water not even half finished. “It can’t be that bad.”

“I gave him a clock for his birthday.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Mark asks.

“送钟,” Chenle explains, “it means to send someone closer to death in Chinese.”

The boys giggle, and Jeno winces. He remembers it clearly, Renjun thanking him for the gift, then slowly explaining the implications of the gift in Chinese culture. Jeno remembers the way his heart sank, smile turning into pure worry, apologizing profusely for the rest of the night. Renjun hadn’t said a word, only cooed at how cute and innocent Jeno was. He really doesn’t deserve Renjun. 

“It’s not your fault,” Jaemin reassures, after the laughter had died down, “you didn’t know.”

“No, you don’t get it. I also gave him a ruler. For  _ Christmas _ .”

This time, the table erupts into laughter. 

“Why the hell would you do that?” Donghyuck exclaims, in-between laughs.

“It was a pretty Moomin ruler!”

“What did he give you?” Mark tries.

“...Super Junior concert tickets for two.”

His friends laugh even louder, now earning a few annoyed stares from other college kids who look like they rolled out of bed 10 minutes ago. Jeno hides his face in his hands. He  _ really _ needs new friends.

“It’s not funny!” Jeno whines, “this is my redemption. That’s why you guys are here,” he looks pointedly at Donghyuck, who’s still laughing. “Not to laugh at me.”

The boys continue laughing regardless, and only start to slow down when they notice Jeno sulking. Which, mind you, takes a while. In that time, Jeno nibbles anxiously at the rim of his empty cup, thinking of possible gift ideas. He comes up zero.

“Okay, okay,” Jaemin starts, making himself useful. “Any ideas?”

They all turn to look at Jeno. Silence.

“What does he like?” Mark tries, again.

Jeno stares back at them like an idiot.

Exasperated, Jisung sighs. “How would he know? He’s always too busy looking at Renjun’s ass.” It earns him a hit on shoulder from Jaemin, because  _ you’re so young, why are you swearing? _ , but the way he coughs to suppress a laugh tells Jeno he agrees. 

“Hey!” Jeno blurts, blush rising to his face. “I’ll have you know he has a very nice face too!”

Chenle fake gags. Jeno pretends he doesn’t see it.

The rest of the meeting involves a lot of Jeno sulking, Mark trying to be helpful, Chenle and Jisung groaning, Jaemin teasing, and Donghyuck being, well, Donghyuck. They go off-tangent thrice, make jokes about Jeno popping out of a huge box twice, and actually come up with a workable (emphasis on workable) plan only once. That being said, Jeno manages to leave the cafeteria a little more confident, napkin with the plan scribbled onto it stuffed into his back pocket.

He needs to do this to show Renjun how much he loves him. He can do this. He  _ will _ do this.

♡

The plan is simple- flowers, balloons, cake, and a brand new easel that Renjun had been talking about, all of which he has to make himself because he’s a broke college kid. You know, the usual valentines gifts. The boys had told him to go simple, go romantic. Tried and tested, they had told him. It’ll be easy, they said.

It was not.

It’s 12pm, on the 14th of February, which means 3 more hours until Renjun gets home, and Jeno is in the kitchen, whipping up what he can only describe as probably the ugliest cake he’s ever seen. There’s flour all over their tiny kitchen counter, crumbs in the frosting because he didn’t know  _ crumb coats _ were a thing, and he’s sure there’s at least 4 egg shells in the batter. The strawberries he’d stuck on top of the cake to save the project are  _ not _ saving the project, threatening to slip off the side of the cake. It leaves pink stains in the white frosting, and Jeno swears under his breath. He takes off his apron, sticks the cake (if you can even call it that) in the fridge, and makes his way to the bedroom. 

Jeno learns belatedly not to place an order with the cheapest florist in town. This, combined with the fact that hydrangeas (Renjun’s favourite flower, he had no choice) are notorious for wilting, means he’s got a hot mess of a bouquet in his hands. 

The flowers arrive in the middle of the day, just as Jeno is setting up the easel. It only exacerbates problems, and consequently, his stress, because the easel he was setting up was not going well either. 

His right index finger throbs slightly as a result of sloppy hammering. There are random pieces of wood on the floor, and Jeno cannot figure out for the life of him where they belong. His favourite blue sweater gets caught on one of the nails, and snags. The easel is not level, each of the four legs just ever so slightly off from each other by at least a centimeter. A tear rolls down Jeno’s cheek for each centimeter.

The Moomin balloon he ordered? Straight up doesn’t look like Moomin. Its snout is far too small for its comically big eyes, and they didn’t even get the  _ tail _ right. The balloon stares back at him, and though fake-Moomin has no mouth, Jeno can feel it smirk at his predicament. 

In short, it’s a fucking disaster. A hot, flaming, garbage-pile-mess disaster. Jeno contemplates calling his friends for help, but before he can even reach into his pocket for his phone, he hears the door click open tentatively.

“Jeno?”

Because  _ of course _ Renjun is home early. Jeno-0, Universe-1.

Jeno sighs, setting the hammer down next to the easel. He picks up the pitiful bouquet, a wilting mess of light blue hydrangeas, and exits the bedroom. 

“Uh,” Jeno starts once he reaches the living room, barely looking at Renjun, “happy anniversary and valentine's day?”

Renjun stares at him quizzically, scanning the mess he’d left in the kitchen. The fake-Moomin Balloon floats in the living room. He tiptoes, peering over Jeno’s shoulder, to examine the bedroom.

“What’s all... this?” Renjun asks, gesturing vaguely to the space around them.

“Your gift,” Jeno replies in earnest, shuffling in his place. “You’re always really great with gifts, and I wanted to show how much I love you by doing something big this year. You know, because it’s our first year together AND it’s valentine’s day.” Jeno lets out a breath. “I just really suck at gifts, though. As you can tell.”

He stands there awkwardly, and Renjun moves to set his bag down on the couch. Takes off his coat, hanging it on the coat hanger on the door, and walks to stand across Jeno. Without the brown coat engulfing him, Renjun looks a lot smaller, clad in a simple long-sleeve and jeans, but Jeno can’t help but feel tiny in comparison. He expects to see disappointment on his face, but only finds Renjun smiling at him. Big and wide.

“It never has to be big, Jeno. I like the way you buy me a bar of my favourite chocolate every time you pass by the convenience store. I like the way you leave sticky notes on the fridge for me when you leave for class early. I like the way you give me pretty leaves that you find on the roadside. I like  _ you _ , Jeno. You give me enough gifts daily. You kind of are the gift.”

The confession renders Jeno speechless. He stands there, gaping like an idiot, wilting flowers in hand, and the best he can come up with is, “I love you.”

“I know,” Renjun grins. He walks towards Jeno, and gently plucks the bouquet from his hand. A pathetic and very much dead hydrangea falls to the ground. Jeno winces, but Renjun only beams even brighter.

“We can press these in some books, then frame them up. They’ll make cute home decor!” Renjun reassures, placing the bouquet gingerly on the table. From the bedroom, they hear the easel fall apart. 

Renjun sucks in a deep breath, smile never slipping off his face. “We should clean up, yeah?”

Jeno nods dumbly. “Yeah.”

“Last to the bedroom cleans the kitchen!” Renjun yells, already taking off with his automatic head-start. Unfortunately for Renjun (and luckily for Jeno), Jeno is fast, and catches up with Renjun by the time he reaches the bedroom door, tackling Renjun to the bed, peppering him with kisses as Renjun brings him down with him.

Jeno isn’t good with gifts, never has been, and never will be. The best he can do, Jeno realizes, is to give himself wholeheartedly to Renjun. Even if it means he ends up in shatters, it doesn’t matter. He’ll give his heart to Renjun to break. 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this fic brought you a little happiness, especially if you're spending valentine's alone this year! also, since i'm chinese, i feel obligated to wish everyone a happy lunar new year :)
> 
> kudos and comments are, as always, greatly appreciated!
> 
> find me on twt: [norenisms](https://twitter.com/norenisms)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/jenothrills)


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